Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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