he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
