You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
