Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
