we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
