I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize