seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize