I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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