Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
