one two three fourrrrnication!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize