Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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