she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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