I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
