I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
