at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
