This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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