I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
