nut hugger
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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