Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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