I just made out with a guy for $7.
We got so high we made milksteak
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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