Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
