The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
