i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
