I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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