we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
