I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize