I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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