girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
