So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
