I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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