I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Terrible idea I love it
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
