Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
