that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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