paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
this will be a night to untag.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
