party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
