you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
