I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
