Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
