to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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