I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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