well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
