I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
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