I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
