One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
