We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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