Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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