I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
