found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Randomize
