normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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