my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
