College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
