we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize