sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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