i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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