What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize