I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
