I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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