This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Found your dick twin last night
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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